Life Got You Down? Blame Government

Are you happy? Are you satisfied with your job, making good money, have a loving family that you spend loads of time with, you're in perfect health, have no debt, got a good education, plenty of money in the retirement account, own a nice home that you're able to update semi-regularly, take vacations annually, and all the rest? I mean, that's the American dream, isn't it? The one we've been taught is achievable in America and nowhere else because of our grand, unrelenting commitment to freedom and individuality. Or are some or all of those areas lacking in your life?

I was thinking about it earlier and I'm quite certain that most of the discontent we experience in our lives can easily be found with its roots in government. There are some out there who think corporations are the world's greatest evil, but do corporations have as much influence over your day-to-day life as government does? Can corporations hold a gun to your head and make you pay for goods and services you don't want? Can corporations be absolutely inefficient, fail in their mandates and missions, lose money year after year, steal from you, fine you for not buying their products, violate your civil liberties and still count on you giving them your business? No, of course not. They have to earn your business. Government just points a gun at you and forces you to do business with them and on their terms only. That's not to say that there aren't bad corporations out there with evil business models, but once again that's because of government enabled cronyism. While businesses and corporations can cause minor hiccups in our day-to-day lives (ohmgygawd, I just spent 30 minutes on hold with Verizon #hearthisassholes), it's the ever-present leviathan of government hanging over our heads, like an eternally cloudy sky that you don't even notice anymore (but once you're "awake" you  notice it all the time), that causes us the most misery.

For example, are you or a family member sick or suffering from chronic pain and you can't get your hands on the drugs you need to treat it? That would be government's fault. Government is keeping marijuana, medicinal and otherwise, illegal and off market in many states. The FDA is the one holding up approval on potentially life-saving drugs, drugs that terminally ill patients are more than willing to risk their already dying lives to take in the hope that it might give them a few more precious months or, God-willing, years on this earth. The market is trying to bring life-saving drugs to the people who desire it at affordable prices. The only reason you can't have them is because of government laws, red tape, and regulations. Food and drug safety and efficacy can be proved by various private, competing entities and get safe drugs to market much faster than the several years-long process it takes for the FDA to complete its studies.

Moving on, what about your quality of life and finances? Are you happy in your job, following your dreams and passions? No? Why not start your own business? Maybe start small and work out of your home? Oh, because your local government regulations prevent home businesses? Hmm, well how about you become a professional of some sort? Oh, you don't have the right government licensing for your floral shop or interior design degree? Understandable. I can see why we need the government to protect us from the dangers of unlicensed florists and interior designers. Or from the horrors of a bad haircut. The stuff of nightmares really. Well why not go back to school to pursue that degree you've always wanted? Too expensive? Was that Amazon's fault, or Ebay's? Hmm, don't think so. When government will hand out or subsidize student loans for everyone with a pulse, it increases demand. The only way to satisfy demand and create equilibrium in the market is to raise prices. Rising prices means it's less affordable, so we need more student loans. Oh vicious circle! And many in government insist that we must make it our goal that every child in America receive a college degree. Because there's no better way to render something completely valueless than by making sure everyone has one. But if you still think that going into debt to get that online degree from Phoenix University that every Tom, Dick, and Harry is now trying to get will finally give you the leg up you've been looking for, be my guest. However, if it doesn't work, you know who to blame <whisper> government.

Have you taken your annual vacation this year? Full two weeks? No debt? Trying to figure out what exactly it is you're saving all that money for anyway? No? Walmart charging you too high of prices again so you can't save money? Or could it be something else.... You see, our government thinks it can control money. They think that they can solve all of our economic woes by printing money or otherwise manipulating the currency. You'll hear our politicians claim that inflation is a good thing. Government will tell you that rising prices makes everyone wealthier because, you know, I never feel richer than when I pay $4 for a gallon of gas that only cost $3 last year. Your home is worth more, but with that food prices keep rising, gas prices keep rising, the cost to heat and cool your home keep rising, but the price of iPads is falling so there's that. I hear they're quite tasty when baked and feed a family of four quite easily.

 Despite the constantly rising prices that you've been told make everyone wealthier, you can never quite figure out what happens to your paycheck each month. And while your home might be valued at $250k, you can't manage to sell it because who's able to save $50k for a nice, respectable 20% down payment? Nobody! But that's okay. Government to the rescue again! They'll subsidize agencies like Fannie and Freddie to give you a loan for as little as 3% down, no savings needed! What could possibly go wrong? Without government, who would force banks and other entities to give out loans to people to buy overpriced homes they can't afford? Wait, don't tell me...Walmart. Amiright?

Not only is your paycheck being eaten away by the insidious hidden tax known as inflation, it's also being eaten away by the never-ending string of overt taxes we're subject to. Sales tax, income tax, payroll tax, property tax, hotel tax, rental car tax, airfare tax, death tax, inheritance tax, capital gains tax, corporate tax, the not buying a product you don't want tax (aka Obamacare), excise tax, gasoline tax, utility taxes, telephone usage tax, cigarette tax, luxury tax, gift tax, gambling tax, lotto winning tax, IRA early withdrawal tax, vehicle sales tax, and on and on and on. Really, though, they're doing you a favor. The government steals this money from you and makes it harder to make ends meet each month because if they didn't you would probably spend it irresponsibly. It's much better that they spend it irresponsibly for you.

"But," you may say, "I'm willing to pay those taxes because I get important government goods and services in return." Like pothole free roads. And pleasant, stress-free visits to the DMV. And an easily navigable and affordable justice system that works for the little guy. And over 700 military bases all over the world. I'm sure if the government weren't stealing your money from you every two weeks you would willingly donate that money to the military bases in Germany and Japan that are so imperative to our safety. You can never be too safe, after all. Which is why I thank the Lord every time I go to the airport and get groped down, nude scanned, or irradiated that my money was taken from me forcibly to pay for my safe travels. Granted, they've never caught a single terrorist no matter how much money I give them but I'm sure it will pay off one day. Given how greedy corporations are, I know American Airlines and Southwest have zero interest in keeping their flights and passengers safe and therefore would not be willing to provide adequate security measures for their passengers; it would eat into their bottom line after all. Terrorists would just keep hijacking their planes and Jetblue would be all like "That's cool. Any publicity is good publicity, right?"

Don't even get me started on companies like Apple. How dare Apple invade countries like China and give those Chinese workers jobs they would never have had otherwise so that Americans can buy highly innovative and desirable products that have literally changed human life at reasonable prices!? If Apple were more like government, they would have invaded China with the Apple Army they keep on retainer, destroyed Chinese cities to build their factories (for which the Chinese should be grateful), used their Army to take out all competition, and then hired a bunch of union workers to charge $20/hr to work no more than 8 hours a day so that in 10 years time they could sell you a phone the size of your shoe for $5000 and then balked at you if you weren't grateful to them because if it weren't for them you wouldn't have a portable phone at all dontchyaknow?

I could do this all day, but stop for a moment and just think about it. Who controls the money? Government. Who controls interest rates on money? The Federal Reserve. Who determines the type of currency we use? Government. Who prints the money that causes inflation? The Federal Reserve. Who forcibly takes money away from us to pay for things we don't want (and maybe a few things we do)? Government. Who controls your education? Government. Who controls your food? Government. Who controls your healthcare? Government. Who controls your retirement? Government. Let's not even think about this in the left/right paradigm. These things are true no matter which party is in power and have been for half a century now or more. It's time to wake up. It's time to open your eyes. It's time to see what's really going on here. It's time to join the revolution. As Katniss Everdeen was told in book 2 of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire as she was battling for her life against her competitors in the Capital-controlled games, "Remember who the real enemy is." I promise you it's not Walmart.